Lonely and Brokenhearted

For anyone who does not know, on November 12th, I lost my love, my life, my husband Mike....He died suddenly of a massive heart attack, in the ambulance I called for him....no signs, no anything...his last checkup was 6 weeks before and he was told he was doing great...
I miss him so very bad.......so bad I can't describe....we were supposed to grow old together....we did everything together, I can't remember the last fight, or even argument we had....I was the luckiest woman on earth....he was handsome, had a heart as big as gold..was the best father in the world...and the kindest man you ever wanted to meet. He was a big teddy bear and I love him with all my heart and soul...even 28 years later...loved him more each year....I'm devastated, and lost without him...

Its been over a month now, and I still wait for him to come home...still walk in the other room to tell him something....and he's not there...I just can't explain how this feels....I finally decided to go back to work this week, it was hard, but probably better for me to keep my mind occupied.

As you can imagine, it is very quiet around this house, my boys are grown and do not live at home any more. We lost our dog Griffey, earlier this year... My dog Baby, is very depressed, always laying by the door crying and waiting for "Daddy" to come home. She always did that whenever he left the house, laid as close to the door as she could, and cried till he came home...She looks at me, and I know she knows, Daddy can't come home anymore....so....I might regret this later, but I have decided to adopt another pup....to keep Baby company while I'm at work, and of course, to keep my mind occupied....I went to see her on sunday...oh, I just love her...I get to pick her up this weekend...
Here is my newest baby to be....Lab Shepard Mix, I'm told...
I know she will never ever replace my husband...but I think he brought my attention to her to keep me occupied...I'm sure she will keep me "occupied".
Her litter came from Kentucky and was slated for being put down....I couldn't let that happen..Wish me luck!

Oh....and I am naming her "Angel" or "Creampuff"...I'm not sure yet...when I get her home it might be Devil...who knows? Currently her name is Blitzen...of course all the pups have reindeer names...don't know if she looks like a Blitzen to me though.


Here she is with her brothers and sisters...I don't know, they look a little beagleish to me....anyone have any ideas?

So, I Must Accept it and Continue On

Well, I know I have not posted in months and months...I was so busy with websites that I put my own blog on the back burner. So much has happened.

My love, my life, my best friend, my heart.....my loving husband Mike passed away on November 12 of a sudden, massive heart attack. I am numb...just numb. I can't focus long enough to work on sites...and ask that my clients please give me time. They have all been wonderful. I am able to do a little more each day, but my mind is not in it right now, as I am sure you can understand.

First I stayed with my sons...but it felt wrong....I needed to be home, in our home. I feel better being here. I can still smell his scent ... his robe is still on the bathroom door, I can't bear to take it down. He is here with me, I feel it. I need him to be here with me, I can't seem to leave the house, although everyone is trying to make me do so. I don't want to. I feel better here. Leaving the house and doing things without him hurts immensely. Everyone wants me to come stay with them. I appreciate what they are trying to do, but right now, I need to stay here. I hope they understand that I may not be thinking so rational right now. But this is what I need. I sit in his chair. I listen to his music (he was a singer/songwriter) . I have to. I am too young to lose my husband. I know I am not the first, but it does not make it easier.
When I work on my computer, I get an email with some sort of good news, and get up and go to the living room to tell him....but he's not there. I just can't seem to accept this. He can't be gone. He is out somewhere and will be home soon. Thats what I have to make myself believe, otherwise I will lose my mind. We were so close, so very close.
We argued about nothing....well except the vacuum. He likes, or I should say, liked, his big old wet vac...I hated it....I just wanted a normal vacuum that I didn't have to lug around. He won.
Thats ok....
Now that it is almost a month....I finally instead of just feeling sorry for myself....I realize just how lucky I am. I was married for 28 years to a drop dead gorgeous, the best father in the world ,kind hearted to everyone he met. People who I could only tolerate...he always found the best in them. That was Mike. Everyone loved him...everyone.....but most of all, me. It was always so comforting having him around. When I started designing websites instead of working outside the home, we were together 24 hours a day. Still....no fights no arguments...we were a team...and knew what each other was thinking. I will always love him and miss him terribly.

Please forgive me for going on and probably making no sense. I needed to put my feelings in writing.

Now, I hope to update this blog regularly, take down last years christmas designs....and make my husband proud.

I love you Mike, I will always miss you....my heart is broken......I know you are singing from Heaven now....

Rest in Peace My Friend

Griffey....there are no words....we miss you, we love you, rest in peace buddy, now the pain is ours, not yours...I'm sorry we were so selfish to wait so long, we couldn't bear the thought of you leaving us...

Has it been Months?

February? My last post was February? I have been a bad blogger! I have revamped my web design business, a new look for the blog is coming soon, and a new feature...I will be doing a little feature story about each website as it is finished and tell you a little bit about them and their business. Have many to catch up on, so check back soon!

Introducing Hollyrose Aromatherapy, my newest design!

My latest design, Hollyrose Aromatherapy! Love the simple, sleek look she wanted! And just look at her products, absolutely beautiful! Go check out her site! http://www.hollyrosearomatherapy.com/.

Ok...so I just took the Christmas Decorations down!

So, its only almost Valentine's Day and I just took the Christmas decor down on the blog...its been crazy here! (I actually just got the decorations down in the house last week, too, but that's another story for another day!)

But to show you what I have been up to, see my latest design at www.stylesanctum.com. Loved working with Nicole, she was so much fun! We are still adding more features, but she wanted clean and classic, and I think we achieved it with a clean flash entry, custom "closets" for her clients, custom forms, and more to come!

We are at the tail end of the auction sites for the benefit for Mary at Isabella's Closet. Should have the sites and urls to show you in the next day or so, I hope!

If you are looking for a custom design, a flash entry, custom forms with image or file upload capability, contact me! I also now offer font viewers for those of you who do custom embroidery, invitations, cards, any kind of personalization where you would like your customer to be able to preview the font they choose before they buy. Want a forum installed? I do that too!
We are now also offering blog designs...match your current site or just spiff up your blog...from vintage and antique themed, to cool and classic, we can do it! Contact me for a quote on any of the above!

And last of all, a very Happy Valentine's Day to you all! Hope you all OD on chocolate, I know I plan to!

Uh...Comcast????

So, it is thursday, the 24th...I have been without internet service from last thursday until yesterday, and even then, it was up, down, up, down...Comcast comes out, and of course, 5 minutes before the serviceman arrives..it goes back up...he leaves...its down again...I have had 3 service calls here, but soon after they leave, it goes down again....It has to be due to the cold weather, since I saw the ATT truck playing around with all the phone and cable lines outside, too. Scary, its supposed to get very cold again this weekend....

But to move on, the winners of the auctions for the web design were Jill and Missy, and we are in the initial design phases....well, we were until I couldn't communicate with them anymore...but keep your eyes open, if I have service for a few days constant, hope to have them up and running by next week.....if you don't hear from me....well, I'll give you one guess why! (Comcast)