Thursday, December 18, 2008

Lonely and Brokenhearted

For anyone who does not know, on November 12th, I lost my love, my life, my husband Mike....He died suddenly of a massive heart attack, in the ambulance I called for signs, no anything...his last checkup was 6 weeks before and he was told he was doing great...
I miss him so very bad I can't describe....we were supposed to grow old together....we did everything together, I can't remember the last fight, or even argument we had....I was the luckiest woman on earth....he was handsome, had a heart as big as gold..was the best father in the world...and the kindest man you ever wanted to meet. He was a big teddy bear and I love him with all my heart and soul...even 28 years later...loved him more each year....I'm devastated, and lost without him...

Its been over a month now, and I still wait for him to come home...still walk in the other room to tell him something....and he's not there...I just can't explain how this feels....I finally decided to go back to work this week, it was hard, but probably better for me to keep my mind occupied.

As you can imagine, it is very quiet around this house, my boys are grown and do not live at home any more. We lost our dog Griffey, earlier this year... My dog Baby, is very depressed, always laying by the door crying and waiting for "Daddy" to come home. She always did that whenever he left the house, laid as close to the door as she could, and cried till he came home...She looks at me, and I know she knows, Daddy can't come home might regret this later, but I have decided to adopt another keep Baby company while I'm at work, and of course, to keep my mind occupied....I went to see her on sunday...oh, I just love her...I get to pick her up this weekend...
Here is my newest baby to be....Lab Shepard Mix, I'm told...
I know she will never ever replace my husband...but I think he brought my attention to her to keep me occupied...I'm sure she will keep me "occupied".
Her litter came from Kentucky and was slated for being put down....I couldn't let that happen..Wish me luck!

Oh....and I am naming her "Angel" or "Creampuff"...I'm not sure yet...when I get her home it might be Devil...who knows? Currently her name is Blitzen...of course all the pups have reindeer names...don't know if she looks like a Blitzen to me though.

Here she is with her brothers and sisters...I don't know, they look a little beagleish to me....anyone have any ideas?


Jewelz said...

We also got a puppy about a month after Darrell died. Honestly, it was one of the best things I did for myself and the kids those first few months. The puppy was a terrific distraction for all of us and someone to cuddle and give us that unconditional love we needed so badly. I hope you puppy gives you love and just a tiny fraction of peace.

Denise said...

Sorry! I didn't realize I was signed in under my daughter's name!!!

IsabellasCloset said...

Arlene, You have been in my thoughts. I have been wondering how you are... I know the pain, sadness and devastation are going throught.. my heart goes out to you. Mike must have truly been a wonderful man, he sure is handsome..
What a lovely photo of you two. Wish I had words to make things better.
Going back to work was a good thing.. It's awful being so alone.
You will be in my prayers.
The puppy is adorable.
Hugs & much love ~Mary~

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to have just read about your Mike here on your blog. What a terrible shock it must have been.
I hope that you are taking good care of yourself and enjoying that new puppy.
If you ever want to chat feel free to email me anytime.
Hugs to you.
formerly of pink paint and roses